One Direction: Down

I often look at the youth of this generation and pity them that things are not how they once were.  Back in the days of my upbringing, when Adidas tear-away pants and Jnco jeans were all the rage, life was as it should be.  Michael Jordan ruled the sports world, AOL instant messenger ruled the online world, and, of course, boy bands ruled the music world.

Backstreet Boys.  Westlife.  98 Degrees.  ‘N Sync.  Catchy tunes and cheesy lyrics took the universe by storm, and we loved it in all its beautiful brilliance, no strings attached.  If you ever needed a line to tell your girl, you could just mash together lyrics from any of their songs.   

(Example: "And like the sunshine from up above, you surrounded me with your endless love cuz everytime I breathe I take you in, and my heart beats again."  I’m telling you -- the possibilities are endless.)

To this day, BSB’s “Black and Blue” album remains near and dear to my heart (“I Promise You” was my wedding song #KTBSPA), and my college roommate Peter likely still has nightmares about Westlife’s “What Makes A Man” being played on repeat.

But today?  I turn on the radio, and suddenly my car is blaring some nonsense that I am told is the newest boy band on the block: One Direction.  I’ve given most of their songs a listen, and I am reporting back to tell you to move on cuz there’s nothing to see here.  To those of you old enough to remember the '90s: shame on you.  I know you miss the boy band heyday (and are hoping with all your might that Kevin returning to the Boys means their next album will be at least halfway reminiscent of their prime), but have some standards, people.  All four of those groups listed above remain at an entirely different level to these jokers.  Heck, even one-hit wonder O-Town has produced better stuff.  You gotta want it all, or nothing at all.  

Don’t settle for One Direction.  I know that I can’t take no more, it ain’t no lie.  I wanna see you out that door, baby bye bye bye.






Photo courtesy of KO Video